Thank You, Liberals, for Handing Us Your Very Own Weapons

2009 August 6

by snarkandboobs

That’s right, Rome. You have just handed us, Conservatives and concerned citizens, your very own sword to wield. I realized this last night, as I lay in bed in my rented home, exhausted from a day of manufacturing anger and of avoiding the insidious clutches of the predatory mortgage lenders, from whom I’ve managed to escape for years.

You erred gravely when you told me that I, and others like me, must be rubes and unwitting shills based solely on the fact that we believe in peaceful assembly and the redress of grievances. You only served to sharpen our focus and to strengthen our resolve.

For too long, we have been relying solely on principle and on the knowledge that we are right, that our ideas are sound, that one day people will realize this and magically jump to our side. We too often impale ourselves with your weapons, we allow ourselves to be used by you and mold ourselves to your memes. No longer.

Principle is a good thing, obviously, but as a friend reminded me months ago, and as I have been saying over and over since, History has shown that one must learn to use the Roman sword against Rome itself. Or die.

You, Dear Leader and the DNC, have just handed us that sword. Now, unlike those who died at Masada, we can now stand on principle AND use your own weapons against you instead of principling ourselves right out of existence. You see, you have furthered a movement .. you have gone too far this time and like another historical precedent from which we can learn, the fall of Constantinople, you have hoisted yourself on your own petard. You became complacent. You became so secure in the erroneous belief that you know best, that you are smarter than we “bitter clingers”, you didn’t even notice that we were busily building metaphorical tunnels in our “small towns” at which you sanctimoniously sneer.

By continuing in the misguided notion that you are “better than us”, that we average citizens are rubes, easily duped into anything, the latest being into shills for insurance companies, YOU created the anger. We don’t need it to be manufactured; it’s in us. We are angry and you have only served to make us more so and to give us a central focus of said anger. You’ve united us.

Now, WE will use your Rules For Radicals, only we will fight with facts and logic and common sense. But we will follow your guidelines; we will identify you and isolate you. We will NOT accept any further demonizing of our core beliefs. We will not allow you to take our Country and our liberties.

We will use the very same weapons you have used … we will organize, we will use OUR media, the new and improved media. We’ve already started, you see, but you were too smug to notice. You can keep your New York Times; we will be down on the ground instead. You see, we DO, we don’t simply posture. We will be in our town halls, in our town meetings and all over the internet.

Twitter is a perfect example. It is full of those “regular folks” to whom you give lip service, but whom you don’t understand in the slightest. Due to your own stupidity and that of YOUR shills like Babs Boxer Ma’am:

and our “esteemed” Speaker, Nancy Pelosi and her claims of swastika-wielding marauders, you ended up involving people who normally would not get involved in anything “political”. Because this is no longer just politics; it’s our way of life.

Hot Air had one of it’s top 5 traffic days Evah yesterday. I, a small town “hick”, personally had more than 3 full gmail pages of new follower notifications from Twitter. People are angry, people want to get involved, the mob is real and it is growing. We must embrace it and use it to our own ends and explain to those who think we are just nameless, faceless nutty nuts, just HOW we are so mob-like.

We started achieving that yesterday, with the #iamthemob hashtag. You see, YOU taught us that, only you couldn’t follow through. You used quick slogans to capture the attention of the shortly-attention spanned electorate, but then what? You aren’t holding their attention; even the younger generation is losing “hope” in you. Your shiny purty is fading fast. You can’t even pass your own legislation and you have a Super Majority! You had no answers, no workable ideas, save for your attempted Demagoguing of Conservatives.

Thank you! I’m grateful, because we CAN take that demagoguing and use it against you. We too can come up with slogans *, as we showed yesterday, and we can capture the attention of all those who don’t appreciate being demonized for attempting to involve themselves as citizens. (This is obviously not the only way to go,but it is an excellent adjunct tool to other outlets and means of communicating ideals and ideas.) We are able to reach people of varying ideologies quickly with a point; this works far better for Conservatives and Libertarians than it does for Liberals, as they can’t make quick, cogent points. As y’all have shown, you tend to ramble on and on circuitously. You are full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

And once we have their attention, we can keep it because we will inform, not mock. We will educate, not ridicule. We will work together, not rest on self-righteous sanctimony.

If we are smart, this will be OUR Moment. WE are the ones we’ve been waiting for. That’s right, President Obama, I’m stealing your words and turning them right back around at you. We mobsters are good like that.

* Potential Slogans; Use As You Wish. Prefaced always by I Am The Mob. (Some serious, some irreverent, which I do believe Conservatives Need. We must stop allowing ourselves to be painted as old stick-in-the-mud, fuddy-duddies):

Hey y’all,can’t decide which gift to order with my Shill For Insurance Company Reward Points; Manolos or opera glasses?

I’m a Mama who doesn’t wear Mom jeans, a daughter, a sister, a friend who believes in Liberty.

I pay for my doctor’s visits out of pocket. I also rent rather than obtain mortgages I can’t afford.

I shower, shave, wear cute skirts and strappy sandals and choose to look like a woman.

I believe in peaceful assembly and the redress of grievances.

I think Rations are a type of military meal and not a way to “cost-effectively” cull the herd.

I don’t want a man who says “oh, just take a pill” to be in charge of my Epidural decisions.

I will not hide behind veil of phony victimhood .

I’m tired of being called a gender-traitor for embracing femininity and Motherhood.

I believe if you have an entitlement mentality, it should only entitle you to STFU

Babs Boxer, Ma’am : Manufactured We’re Not, And We’re Hot. Get Used to It.

Dear Babs Boxer, Ma’am : We’ll be seen and We’re Clean! Get Used To It.

Dear Babs Boxer, Ma’am: We behave and we shave. Get Used To It.

Dear Babs Boxer, Ma’am: We won’t be conned, Nice clothes we’ve donned. Get Used to It.

Because I am a shill …. for my own family.

Because I’m smarter than “Better Than You” Politicians think.

I believe charity begins at home, not in a “committee” of bureaucrats.

I don’t get Cash for my Clunker. I drive it to SAVE cash.

Because deciding whose life is cost-effectively “worth” saving is NOT above my pay grade.

I don’t trust the Government with a speculum

Because I “Cling” to Life

Because I chose to be “punished” with a baby

Because Shut Up. And George Bush.

Because I don’t want elderly with diseases requiring life-saving surgery to line up to the left for their “pills”

I’m Loud and I’m well-endowed. Get Used to it.

Because I’ve read, and understand, the Constitution of the United States of America.

Because I don’t screech get out of my Uterus, yet welcome you to every other part of my body and aspect of my life

Because I actually live within my means and expect others, including the Government, to do the same.

Because I live in the real world and not an Ivory Tower.

Because Washington was right: If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter

Because I know “DoubleThink”, “NewSpeak” and “The Ministry of Truth” when I see it.

I prefer to be barefoot and practicing getting pregnant in the kitchen. Making sammiches.

Let me be clear here, as I’ve said before and as I stand here today: I am the mob

Janeane Garofalo thinks I have a fatty limbic system and Stockholm Syndrome. At least I don’t crack a mirror.

Because I walk softly and carry a big Lipstick

I believe America is the Shining City on the Hill; resent Obama’s constant need to apologize for our Exceptionalism

Because real men like Red Meat and not arugula

Because I can think for myself