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Sometimes A Handful Really IS Too Much

March 5, 2010

Also, icky. You’d think  four boobies would be awesome. Turns out, not so much.

(NOT the actual plaintiff) Courtesy of

A 47-year-old woman from Staten Island, NY, is suing her plastic surgeon for a cool $5 million over a breast augmentation procedure she says went so poorly she “came out of that operation with essentially four breasts.”

According to the plaintiff’s filing, her breasts now “appear flattened on the bottom with severe swells the size of a softball on top,” and that she suffers from “pain… disability, loss of self-esteem, humiliation and embarrassment.”

The patient even goes so far as to lay the blame for her divorce at the foot of the doctor, saying that she could no longer be intimate with her husband after the surgery.

First, OctoMom. Now,QuadraBoob? Self-esteem should be the least of her worries. How the heck does she find bras?

What say you, fellas? When does more than a handful become too much? I say, when you have MORE THAN TWO BOOBS.

UPDATE: The Pirate’s Cove links. Thankies! Check them out for more great Sunday reading here.

(h/t JCred’s twitter feed)

(cross-posted at

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Dell permalink
    March 5, 2010 8:18 pm

    Being an elderly geek, the size makes no difference to me. I vaguely remember all five of my kids utilizing them to the fullest (pardon the pun). And I’m a firm believer (again, pardon the pun) that anything over a handful is wasted!

    • Anonymous permalink
      November 5, 2012 12:52 pm

      However, it nice to have something to keep your ears warm in winter!

  2. Submarine Guy permalink
    March 5, 2010 11:24 pm

    Hmmmm… Four is a bit much, but I do have 2 hands and a pair of lips 😉

  3. BuckwheatsayHI permalink
    March 7, 2010 12:16 am

    not even close to normal. Are we doomed for reals?


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