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I Give Blagojevich a Solid B+

January 12, 2010

I got a crush on Blago and he just became even more crush-worthy:

In the article, Blagojevich refers to the president as “this guy,” and says Obama was elected based simply on hope.

“What the (expletive)? Everything he’s saying’s on the teleprompter,” Blagojevich told the magazine for a story that hits newsstands Jan. 19.

“I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived,” Blagojevich said. “I saw it all growing up.”

Oh, Blago, while I suspect that the Democrats consider you more like a recurring case of herpes, you are like a super awesome belated Christmas gift to me! My crush on you began when you were informed of the fact that you were under wire tap surveillance.  The very next day you answered a reporter’s question regarding the same by saying something like “There’s nothing but sunshine hanging over me”.  That was proof positive that you were boyfriend material if only for your obvious ability to obtain prime pharmaceuticals. We’d have to work on your hair obsession, though. Sorry, Blago, but I get all the mirror time.

You then warmed the cockles of my heart when you flipped the big old bird to the entire Democrat party by saying “Oh yea? I can’t appoint the new Senator simply because I tried to extort money for the position? In your face!  I’m doing it anyway –and I’m playing the race card”. That’s right, you went all in with the good old race card. Hilarity ensued and continued to do so when, during the press conference, you quoted Rudyard Kipling. All while continuing to deny any wrong-doing, regardless of the actual tape recordings evidencing your pay to play attempts. I suppose that part is understandable; it is Chicago and corruption is the status quo there. In fact, you are abnormal if you aren’t corrupt in Chicago politics. Chicago politicians give New Jersey politicians a run for their money. (and they might turn up wearing cement boots and tossed into the Hudson River if they don’t stop trying to steal Jersey’s thunder)

Finally, you literally get impeached and have yet another Press Conference denying all, and indicating that the reason you were being impeached was because your are just SOOO awesome that the rest of the Illinois political machine is jealous. You were saving lives! People will DIE if you aren’t around! As proof of same, you had a dead child on stage with you (seriously, look at the kid lying on the floor.)

See, if you weren’t impeached and being harangued for no good reason, that kid would still be alive. To wrap up, you again quoted a poet, Tennyson this time. I was hoping you would go for Coleridge, maybe something from the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, some sort of Albatross reference, but, alas, one can’t get everything one wants.

I’ll let that one slide anyway because you helped to prove that, once again, the Democrats are the ones who are obsessed with color. They seated your appointment, Senator Burriss after they ALL, including Obama, said that there was no way in hell that a Blago appointment would be seated by the Senate. What changed? Yup, your brilliant race card move! Clearly, to your fellow Democrats, as long as you have the right color skin, any ethical reservations go right out the window.

Now, you are going a step further and admitting your bigotry from which, it is becoming increasing clear, many Democrats suffer. You are “blacker” than Obama because you shined shoes? Wow. You used to merely play the race card, but now you are showing your racism.

I thank you for it, however, hence the crush. You do so much, all on your own, to take the wind out of the Democrats false ”For The Minorities” narratives. In fact, to encourage your continuing stint in the limelight, I will once again dust off my video camera and record my very own “I Got a Crush on Blago” music video.

Only one problem; I’ve got the rack and the tight t-shirts, but I can’t sing. I suppose I can take a page from your own book, Blago, and ignore pesky things like facts, though. So, I just need to write the lyrics. I’m thinking something like “He’s well-coiffed, he’s sanity-challenged, and he likes pay to play — I’ve got a crush on Blago”.

Geraldo, here I come!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 12, 2010 7:11 pm

    Love it, Lori! Great post…
    “…while I suspect that the Democrats consider you more like a recurring case of herpes”…classic.
    Good stuff.

    • Lori Ziganto permalink*
      January 13, 2010 12:43 am

      Thank you, Fred! Much appreciated 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  2. BuckwheatsayHI permalink
    January 14, 2010 1:25 am

    I’m sure to be in the minority here, but I like Blago. When Obmama came calling and demanded he give Valerie Jarrett his senate seat, Blago told him to stick it in his a@s. Of course that didn’t exactly go over well, glass houses and all. I think Blago never knew what hit him, and Rhambo prolly was the mastermind behind the coup. These folks have the goods on every Democrate so no one would dare cross them, methinks.
    I loved Blago’s recent demand that Obmama, Obmama’s wife and Rhambo be subpoenaed for his trial. Fat chance of that happening. If I was Blago, I’d steer clear of Ft. Marcy Park.

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