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Obama Steals Nobel Peace Prize from Miss South Carolina

October 9, 2009

What? Her platform is just as coherent and filled with “potential” as his and she looks even prettier. Isn’t that what really matters?

When I first heard that Obama won this “prestigious” award (also won by such bastions of history such as Yassar Arafat and Jimmy Carter) I was torn between utterly shocked outrage and hysterical laughter.  I mean, if I was at the Nobel Prize announcement thingie, I totally would have yelled out “You Lie!” I also thought that I’d see a breaking news announcement saying:  JUST IN from Oslo: Ted Kennedy’s family demands a recount.

Then I worried that Obama would be all gloat-y on TV and I’m so tired of the putrid stench of Smug ™ that emanates off my TV each time he appears.  However, turns out his acceptance speech was HE-Larious. Obama explained it all ..  The Prize isn’t for accomplishments; it is really “a call to action” and he’ll totally accept it!  In fact, it should be renamed the Nobel Super-Awesomeness Prize.  So, now I’m kind of digging this, as the joke are plentiful and it is really embarrassing for Obama, especially on top of his abysmal failure with the Olympics.  Although, I was rather disappointed that no one reported Joe Biden’s remarks when he heard the news. “Sources” tell me Joe Biden’s response to Obama winning was: “Knew you’d win it, Big Guy! You’re so clean and articulate – God Love ya!”

Now, I’m just waiting for CNN to fact check the Nobel Peace Prize committee.  I’m setting my DVR because their in-depth investigation of Saturday Night Live’s ONE slightly-negative Obama skit was absolutely captivating!  Plus, this now means that everyone is special, yes? Even without actually doing anything.  This is awesome; I’m totally going to win Nobel Prize in Literature for my Bloggitys. Don’t worry, I’m humble; I will take it as Call To Action!  I also intend on my kid going to College. Diploma now please, Harvard. No need to wait ’til she actually achieves anything. In fact, here is a list of reasons why I should receive a Nobel Peace Prize and various other awards based solely on my good intentions.

I intend on getting job, being super awesome at it. (without actually *doing* it though). Kindly promote me to CEO now and send huge bonus check forthwith.

Just did science experiment with the kid.Taught her about solid, liquid and gas. I smell a Nobel Prize in Chemistry!

I totally suck at singing, but feel I have “potential” and just need a “call to action”. Grammy, please. Thanks!

Going to walk inside Dunkin’ Donuts today instead of wastefully idling at the drive-through.  Nobel Peace Prize, please!

I don’t *actually* know how to do anything, but I look good whilst feigning it.

I am able to score FREE dunkin’ donuts based solely on the Power of my Rack

I totally know how to blame George Bush for *my own* failures 

Wait a second, that doesn’t sound right, does it? Maybe I  don’t think the Nobel Prize should be awarded to someone without tangible achievements. Probably because I must be a RACIST ™. And a Philistine. I’m not as enlightened as those European folks.  See, I think the people who have been imprisoned and put their own lives at risk, literally, for actual and real human rights activism are far more deserving, but then I suppose they haven’t hung out on Dave Letterman’s couch nor stopped the needless (and non-existent!)  reaping of Tonsils by nefarious doctors!  Nor did they host a super cool Beer Summit like President Obama (compelled into hosting due solely to his own asshattery and the “fix” only served to multiply said asshattery and buffonery)

Oh yeah, they also don’t wish to reach out with “unclenched fist” to the Taliban in Afghanistan and “give them a role because they aren’t really the enemy”. In fact, one of the other nominees Sima Simar is a woman’s rights activist there:

With dogged persistence and at great personal risk, she kept her schools and clinics open in Afghanistan even during the most repressive days of the Taliban regime, whose laws prohibited the education of girls past the age of eight. When the Taliban fell, Samar returned to Kabul and accepted the post of Minister for Women’s Affairs.”

But passing out lab coats to Doctors at a staged event in the Rose Garden while sneering at fellow citizens is cool too.  And I suppose it’s “peaceful” to Vote Present regarding the need for troop increases while our servicemen and women sacrificing their lives in two WARS.

We shouldn’t be surprised. Obama’s entire Presidency is based on nothing tangible. He has no *actual* achievements besides having the audacity to write a memoir in his mid-30s. Which, it turns out, he didn’t even write himself.  THAT is what Obama is truly teaching the children, never mind the ridiculous “mm mm mm” songs. They are learning that  everyone is “special”, which, for all intents and purposes, means that no one and nothing really is.  Everyone gets awards and ribbons for “trying”.  They don’t even KEEP SCORE in soccer games any longer.  If no one can ever fail, how can anyone actually ever succeed?  Mere wishful thinking now takes precedence over *actual* achievements and accomplishments.  Truly courageous and meaningful ones, to boot.

We are in big trouble if that doesn’t change swiftly. I’m afraid for  my daughter’s generation. They are going to ALL be “Obamas”, told that they are special and super awesome no matter what they do (or don’t do).  They don’t have to work for nor earn anything themselves. The “I can haz cookie now” generation.

Frankly, I’d rather have Miss South Carolina. At least she understands loss and failure.

18 Comments leave one →
  1. October 9, 2009 6:33 pm

    Well, aren’t you just brilliant and beautiful? I hereby grant you the Noble Prize for Brilliance and Snarkary and you’ve have fo’ sho’ earned that one. Great job, you should go post on President Doofus’ website!!!

  2. John permalink
    October 9, 2009 6:50 pm

    If he hadn’t received it, it would have been George Bush’s fault.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      October 10, 2009 2:21 am

      Yup. And I forgot to mention in my post (as I was rambling on far too long as usual) that it’s also some lingering Bush hatred and a resultant trying to give a slap in the face deal. They are too stupid to realize that George Bush does not give a rat’s arse about such things.

      And right now he’s probably relaxing on his ranch with his beautiful, inside and out, wife doing that super cute little shoulder shake giggle saying “How do you like the job now, Genius!”

  3. October 9, 2009 6:55 pm

    The Nobel Peace Prize has been cheapened beyond belief by this award, it already meant very little, after having been awarded to the likes of Jimmy Carter and Yassar Arafat, but today took the cake…

  4. John Collins permalink
    October 9, 2009 6:57 pm

    Wasn’t it when eco-freak Gore was given the prize, he beat out an old woman ( in her 90’s I think it was) that helped save countless children from the Nazis? Since then, the Nobel prize, in my opinion, is meaningless. Obviously, it’s given to who’s the most popular, not who’s the most talented or gifted.

    • Wsorrian permalink
      October 9, 2009 8:20 pm

      Irena Sendler was her name. Born a beautiful Polish woman. Her father died when she was 7 from typhus. She worked as a social worker if I remember the story correctly. She saved 2500+/- Jewish babies and children by hiding them in tool boxes and burlap sacks. When she was caught her legs and arms were broken and she was beaten mercilessly.

      She was quoted as saying things like:

      “Heroes do extraordinary things. What I did was not an extraordinary thing. It was normal.”

      “Let me stress most emphatically that we who were rescuing children are not some kind of heroes. Indeed, that term irritates me greatly. The opposite is true. I continue to have pangs of conscience that I did so little.”

      “Every child saved with my help and the help of all the wonderful secret messengers, who today are no longer living, is the justification of my existence on this earth, and not a title to glory.”

      Truly a remarkable and humble woman. Not the fake “humble” that some proclaim after winning a million dollar award.

      She was nominated in 2007 for the Nobel Peace Prize only to have it given to a man who gave a slideshow on the controversial and unproven topic of global warming.

  5. maryann C permalink
    October 9, 2009 7:35 pm

    Dear Snarky,
    I too find myself turning away from his smug elitist narcissistic face on TV ,I can’t take it. I actually have to turn away as if their was a horrific bomb scene with bodies strewn in the streets, children crying and the like. This is the effect he
    has on me as well. I opened drudge at 7:30 am and thought what a great joke. Peace Prize. Some comfort the world is not lost, my daughter is 13 cynical as all hell, sees through everything, her favorite movie at 6yrs of age was The Party with Peter Sellers, it’s a Mad Mad Mad World and loves Toronto’s own Second City. We also tell her when she’s not lived up to her potential. I keep her posted on some items from Iowahawk Moonbattery and Iowntheworld for conservative humor.

  6. October 10, 2009 4:10 am

    First Carter…then Gore…and now Obama. When will the madness end? Apparently, hating America and selling Israel down the river has its rewards with the lefty Asshats in Oslo. IMHO, the Nobel Peace price has lost all credibility and is a world class joke…Just like Obama.

  7. October 10, 2009 9:17 am

    Hillman, you’re right on. “Madness” is the only way to describe what is going on in the world today. It’s all like some bad dream where you wake up (if only!) and say to yourself, “Where did my brain come up with THAT one???” Only it ain’t a dream, baby, and we ARE awake.
    We gotcha people blowin’ each utha up; we gotcha people choppin’ each utha up wit big machetes; we gotcha men runnin’ countries in South America that everybody hates; we gotcha half-white (I choose to recognize that part of his heritage rather than the “other” part) president of the United States with no experience an’ less sense than a sack a’ rocks; we gotcha people in Congress who should be pickin’ beans in a field somewhere instead of in “leadership” positions. What the HELL is goin’ on????

  8. Mel permalink
    October 10, 2009 12:52 pm

    What
    a
    joke.

    What he DID earn, was a big bag of slaps.

  9. Reiuxcat permalink
    October 12, 2009 7:45 am

    Came across this video this morning. I’m sure smoe of you recognoze some of the art work.

  10. October 13, 2009 5:34 pm

    If someone changed the direction of the most militarily powerful nation on earth, from being what many in the world see as the greatest threat to peace, to being a leader for peace, why wouldn’t that merit a peace prize?

    If a president of the United States took the chair of the UN Security Council for the first time in history, and also for the first time in history, managed to get the Security Council to pass a unanimous resolution calling for nuclear disarmament, why wouldn’t that be recognized as a notable accomplishment?

    You might not agree with Obama’s policies, in fact you might think he is taking the country in a dangerous direction, and you are entitled to your opinion, but you should acknowledge that the direction he is taking us is the direction of peace.

    I’m guessing you have some sympathy for the tea party marchers who think that President Obama has already had a massive impact on the direction of this nation, so much so that they fear for their constitutional rights. How can that be true and at the same time people on the right are saying that Obama has not accomplished anything at all?

    Why not just admit that President Obama deserves the peace prize and that your problem is that you are not on board with the whole peace process?

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      October 13, 2009 5:39 pm

      HAHAHAHA.

      Why not just admit that President Obama deserves the peace prize and that your problem is that you are not on board with the whole peace process?

      Yep, I’m not “on board” with Peace. that must be it! I want “sick people to die” and I “hate peace”. I must be one of those war monger things!

      Your website “hopeandchange.net” reveals the fact that YOU are the one with the bias. But thanks for the spin and meaningless feel-goody rhetoric that has nothing to do with the real world. It makes me giggle.

      • October 13, 2009 5:52 pm

        Thanks for visiting, and I enjoyed reading your blog also! I honestly did.

        • snarkandboobs permalink*
          October 13, 2009 5:58 pm

          You’re welcome and Thanks! I think I disagreed with practically everything you said, heh, but I thank you for using the term “tea party marchers” instead of the mockingly derisive “tea baggers” term that many use.

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