What the Heck Will Emos Do Without Their Clove Cigarettes?
Damn FDA strikes again, banning flavored cigarettes :
These flavored cigarettes are a gateway for many children and young adults to become regular smokers,” said FDA Commissioner Margaret A. Hamburg, in a news release.
Note: They are NOT banning menthol cigarettes. I suppose that would be Racist ™
Yet, they have no problem being Emo-ist. Or Goth-ist? I get Emo and Goth confused. Whatever. They’re all a bunch of kids from the suburbs who I like to point and snicker at, giggling madly at their “edgy” angst over which iPod skin they should use today. Cut your hair. And Shaddup. Also, Get the hell off my lawn.
Still, as part of our Most Vulnerable Citizenry, I feel we should stand up for them. OK, that’s totally a lie. I just want to continue snickering at them. I also don’t want them turning solely to hair dye as a means of a cry for attention and to feel all edgy and stuff. Per se (shout out to South Park). The demand would run up the price and I needs me some dye.
I’m also afraid that there is a slippery slope involved and if they cut out yummy tasting cigarettes because they are so “gateway drug-y”, then I can only assume my sweet nectar, known as Bartles and James Margarita Coolers, will be next. I call Sexism! (Hey, as a total W.A.S.P. I don’t have a race card, the sexist card is all I have – thankies fancy womb!)
Therefore, I propose making signs and protesting (dude, this protesting deal? Totally fun) We can make signs that say “Stay out of my taste buds!” and “No Fizzy Girl Drinks, No Peace!
Scoff if you must, but people also scoffed at warnings of a slippery slope when smoking bans went into effect. Now, they are legislating trans-fat, soda and kids cereal. Therefore, its time to ask not what cloves can do for you, but what YOU can do for cloves!
(Cross-posted at iOwnTheWorld.com – with a better title, dammit – “Don’t FED on Me”)