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Maybe Bob Dylan Was Simply Looking for Maggie’s Farm.

August 16, 2009

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Bob Dylan, like a complete unknown, (but not a rolling stone) was arrested in my old stomping grounds, New Jersey.

Bob Dylan was detained by police in Long Branch, N.J. last month, when a young officer failed to recognize him, police said. The officer proceeded to go to earnest lengths to ensure the hooded, disheveled, rain-soaked music legend was, in fact, who he said he was… [snip]

To hear the young New Jersey police officer describe it, the scene was like something out of one of Dylan’s epic song-poems: It was pouring rain, Dylan was soaked and wandering alone, far from the traveling home of his entourage of tour buses.

When Dylan wandered into the yard of a home that had a “For Sale” sign on it, the home’s occupants became spooked by his appearance and called police with a report of an “eccentric-looking old man” in their yard, Long Branch Police said. One of the occupants even went so far as to follow Dylan as he continued on down the street.

I would have not only mistaken him for a vagrant, but for a woman as well. Like Don Imus, Bob Dylan is the sort who in his old age is looking more and more like an elderly chick.

“So I said, ‘OK Bob, what are you doing in Long Branch?’ He said he was touring the country with Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp. So now I’m really a little fishy about his story. I did not know what to believe or where he was coming from, or even who he was.

Fishy? Flag him!! Though, it appears as if his clothing wasn’t nice enough to be truly fishy. Still, he’s already blown (in the wind. Groan)  his chances for a meeting with The One anyway.  Instead of getting on the Summit gravy train, he had to be all cooperative and stuff.  He should have besmirched the police officer’s Mom;   What a dum-dum!  He would have totally scored a Summit invite then!

Then MSNBC could have had an awesome “Countdown Clock”, only set in a Watchtower graphic.  And Biden could have gotten drunk at the Summit and burst into a super cheesy rendition of “Lay, Lady, Lay“. Or more appropriately, “A Fool Such as I”.  Maybe even “The Times, They Are A-Changin’” —  as he nudged and winked at President Obama:   “Am I right, Prez? Whew-ie the tide is sure turnin’ against us! We need more of those 3 letter things called J – O – B- S.  Hey, Bob, what’s your website number by the way?”

Curses, Bob Dylan!  Next time, think of your fellow Countrymen, won’t you?

(h/t thingie  to Just Karl )

2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 16, 2009 7:47 pm

    I’ve never been much for his music… I think an ocean has been made of a kiddie pool there…. But I gotta admit that :

    1.) I would like to spend a week with the guy…

    and

    2.) I wouldn’t be surprised in the least to find out that I already have…

    Great article =)

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 16, 2009 7:52 pm

      I’d totally hang out with him.

      I went through a Dylan phase Senior year of high school. I still do like a few of his songs and will get all into them and sing along (sadly) if one pops up and is played somewhere, but I never think to purposefully play them.

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