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Diary of a Mad NON-Feminist* & why Feminists don’t speak for me.

August 8, 2009

Updated: August 8, 2009

The absolutely deafening sound of *crickets* coming from N.O.W. whenever a Conservative woman is being lambasted in the media always serves to remind me that I am, in fact, a staunch Anti-Feminist and here is why:

I like being different from men and don’t envy man-bits. I enjoy being able to cry and win an argument by default. I like being able to use my hormones as an excuse for acting like a shrew and a mad harpie a few days a month.

I don’t like math. Icky. Oh, so icky.

I like not having to mow the lawn. Ever. I like pretending to be so mechanically impaired that I can’t even figure out how to put gas in it, never mind pull that string thing to start it.

I like not knowing what the string thing is called.

I like not having to take out the garbage (my nails! Its dirty! Ewww!). I like being able to run screeching from the room at the first glimpse of a spider and have a man come running to save the day.

I like staying home with my child without feeling as if I am not “fulfilling my potential” by not having a career. If I were a feminist, I’d beat myself up daily over that fact. Even worse, most feminists believe what I do is actually harmful to women. Betty Frieden wrote in The Feminist Mystique that housewives are mindless, thing-hungry, are not people and that “Housewives are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps.”

Wow. How offensive; to women and to holocaust victims. Yes, Betty, nurturing, cooking, cleaning and making a loving home is *exactly* the same as forced interment and genocide.  Another paragon of Feminism, Gloria Steinem, said that housewives are parasites. Yup, she equated me and millions of other women who enjoy their lives, to tape worms. OK, sometimes my cooking “experiments” may seem to cause tape worm-like symptoms, but I am not a parasite. So, wrong again, Gloria. In fact, women need Feminists like fish need bicycles. (you young’uns may not remember that oh-so-clever Feminist slogan)

While y’all were busily pant-suiting yourselves and trying to become men, other women were out there raising families and learning through actual living. You old school Feminists forgot (or chose to ignore; y’all are big on paying lip service to “choosing”) the greatest thing that sets us apart. Being a Mommy.

Sorry, Hillary Clinton, but I like being a “standing by my man baking cookies” kind of woman. How hypocritical of you……it is only OK to stand by your husband while he is entertaining himself by batiking an intern’s dress with bodily fluids, as long as you can use him for your own political gain?. How’s that working out for you, by the way? WHOM was it who was sent to North Korea to negotiate the release of the journalists again? Meow.

I like believing in real choice; the choice to live your life in the noble pursuit of raising a family. Seems as if feminists are only obsessed with one “choice”.

I don’t like sensible shoes or short hair. I like dressing up and looking pretty and I like when men notice. I don’t gasp in feigned outrage (What! A man is looking at me! What a pig!)

And, most importantly, I like Men. I don’t believe they are the root of all evil. Except for maybe Al Gore.

Lest I be accused of woman bashing, I also have no use for Feminist men. Enough with the “feelings”. If I want to discuss feelings, I’ll call my sister.

The fact that you care more about my uterus and its “rights” than I do is kinda gross. Why the heck are creepy, middle-aged men and militant lesbians so obsessed with my reproductive rights? I have never, not once, woken up thinking “Gee, I hope my reproductive rights are protected today”. What are reproductive rights anyway? Wouldn’t that mean the right to reproduce? I can see that being a concern in say, China, but I’m pretty sure no one is stopping reproduction here. Jamie Lynn and Britney Spears, Kate Gosselin and the OctoMom are proof of that.

You don’t open doors for me out of fear of offending my independent sensibilities; I’m offended that you think I want to heave open my own door. Some of them are heavy and since I’m partial to heels, I’m always slightly off-balance.

When watching a sad movie, I need to be able to cry on your shoulder and not the other way around. Men should only cry in public when drunk and melancholy.  Or at the funeral of one of our fallen heros. I’ll even excuse it at the birth of your child, BUT only manly misty-eyes and a quick sniffle.  No blubbering.

Reciting poetry is not good foreplay. It isn’t even bad foreplay. (Am I right, ladies?)

Your political stances don’t wash. You rant and rave at injustices for women in America, yet you want to have conversations and dialogue with people who actually DO subjugate women, treat them like chattel and stone them to death for things like, oh, walking down the street alone.

There is no need to constantly validate my feelings. I already know they are valid. As should you, so please stop asking me to validate yours.

I don’t feel all empowered when you expect me to pump my own gas. Be a man and pump it for me. Show some respect… could mess up my manicure. Plus, it’s stinky.

Dick Cheney is sexy.  Perez Hilton is so the opposite of sexy there isn’t even a word for it. I would have said Alan Alda, but I’m fairly certain he actually is a woman.

Lastly, be an alpha male once in a while and make a decision on your own. And lose those icky little socialist beards.

*I use the term Feminist as it means to me today, thus the wording “Non-Feminist”. I usually use “sneer quotes” around the word “Feminist” because the term has been bastardized by the left. NOW “Feminists” are Faux Feminists. They don’t care about women, they don’t respect women, they don’t wish to empower women; they have a political agenda and that’s all.

True Feminists believe in TRUE choice and understand that women ARE different. In a very good way.

It also appears some have unfathomably come to the conclusion that I ever once implied that the above examples of likes and dislikes were about anyone other than myself.  For instance, *I* don’t like spiders, totally fine if you don’t mind them and I don’t think I implied otherwise. *I* don’t like Math, *I* don’t like mechanical-y thingies. Kudos to you, if you do. But I don’t believe that I should be made to think that I *should* like such things or else I’m giving women a “bad name”. Why? I’m me. That’s all.

The general sentiments as pertain to allowing people to admit that women and men ARE different, that it’s a good thing and the fact that I believe that all women should have TRUE choice, including not being made to feel inferior if they choose to stay home and raise a family, applies to all.

(cross-posted on Red State)

51 Comments leave one →
  1. August 9, 2009 4:08 am

    Funny, accurate, and entertaining!! Perez Hilton, there is no word that comes close to describing that, well maybe cockroach.

  2. Chuck Dizzle permalink
    August 9, 2009 4:53 am

    Do you have a sister? Seriously.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 9, 2009 5:29 am

      Yup! But she’s married and has 3 kids 😀

  3. August 9, 2009 4:56 am

    I think you’re missing the point. I can’t speak for feminists, and clearly, the type of feminism you cite is passé, to say the least, and I think you might be overstating your case somewhat regarding how much housewives are looked down upon by “feminists” (however you define that). I don’t even think feminists [claim to] oppose women like you; I think they [claim to] oppose things like the “power structures” that “keep women in the kitchen.” I’m not sure how “powerful” this particular power structure still is today, but I’m not going to assume that everyone is treated equally now just because there are career women in the workforce. But I do think the most important thing is choice (whether or not we actually agree on this is unclear to me). For example, you might not feel like your “reproductive choice” is being threatened, but a lot of women in this country do. Do you claim to speak for them? I think it’s fine if you want to be a housewife and subscribe to traditional gender roles. It’s also fine if other women want to do other things. But what kind of authority are you on how men are supposed to act? If you don’t like how I act, for example, you don’t have to associate with [people like] me. That would be fine as well. Your narrow, traditional views of gender roles have no power over me! You can’t put me in a box! Ok. I hope I’ve made my point… thanks…

    • rafro007 permalink
      August 9, 2009 5:26 am

      You’re a moron, Adderall Apocalypse. You must be a feminazi apologist. Usually I’d say a lot more here, but like the Perez Hilton [non]description, there isn’t much more I can say. That is all 🙂

      • August 9, 2009 5:43 am

        um… thanks? In my limited experience on the internet, I have found that “you’re a moron” is usually code for “I disagree with you.” Whatever. Some anonymous person on the internet calling me a moron doesn’t hold much water with me, but I appreciate the attention! Thanks!

  4. August 9, 2009 5:39 am

    Furthermore, I don’t know about anyone else reading this, but I have over the years become quite intolerant of all forms of emotional manipulation, such as those you mention early in the article. I’m sorry, but I do not recognize “women problems” or hormones as a valid “excuse for acting like a shrew and a mad harpie a few days a month.” Anyone who does, I would highly suspect to be a complete tool.

    On a final note, I am as disappointed as the next person that western feminists seem so silent concerning the plight of muslim women in the western world, specifically, recent immigrants to Europe (not to mention muslim women in the middle east… which I won’t even get into right now).

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 10, 2009 8:35 pm

      “I’m sorry, but I do not recognize “women problems” or hormones as a valid “excuse for acting like a shrew and a mad harpie a few days a month.” Anyone who does, I would highly suspect to be a complete tool.

      And I suspect that any man who doesn’t believe that a woman’s body and hormones are different than a man’s is delusional.

      Start menstruating, then tell me that hormones don’t affect anyone.

      • Christina permalink
        August 10, 2009 9:10 pm

        you’re right, i have a lot of hatred. I hate women like you. All you do is make excuses for your pathetic self. Like GWB, I pity you.

      • DPunch permalink
        August 10, 2009 9:16 pm

        Well put.

        I’d be curled up in the fetal position, mumbling to myself something about Judy Blume if I bled down there for 3 to 5 days. And if I had a heavy day? Kill me now.

  5. August 9, 2009 12:18 pm

    You said it SO well. I’m a SAHM. While the rest of those “Feminists” are out there working, I’m the one volunteering at school, helping with the car pools, chaperoning the field trips, and chairing the PTO which they cannot bother to help out with when asked.
    Being a mom is the best job ever. Would I go back to work full time – not until they are in college, thanks. They older they get, the more they need me.
    I’d like to be recognized as the intelligent, highly educated person that I am – but… since I don’t “work” I must be stupid, uneducated, and simply worthless – and this according to the MSM and those Feminists…

    • August 10, 2009 7:54 pm

      Motherhood is a vocational calling from God. Thank you for accepting the call!I am sure your children will grow to be bright, balanced, and productive adults.

  6. Christina permalink
    August 10, 2009 7:05 pm

    Just curious – what about the women (aka me) that do not want to have kids? I guess we serve no purpose in this world.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 10, 2009 7:08 pm

      Oh, yes, that is *exactly* what I was saying. Sigh. Y’all have to find offense to absolutely everything and paint every single thing with a broad brush, even tongue in cheek stuff about *one* person. It’s awfully tiresome.

      • Christina permalink
        August 10, 2009 7:36 pm

        Thanks for answering my question. You make it sound like all women should stay home and raise their kids. That’s fine if that’s what you want. I have no desire to have kids. I’m just wondering where that leaves me if all mom’s were to stay home.

        And by the way you stupid bitch, I can’t bother with manicures or pedicures. I keep my body in fabulous shape by boxing. I’m really hot too. I bet you’re fat.

        • Lori permalink
          August 10, 2009 7:40 pm

          Stay Classy, “Feminists”!

          Thanks for proving my point. Much appreciated!

          • Christina permalink
            August 10, 2009 7:45 pm

            oh, was your point to say that feminists are not classy? Or that all women should stay home and not go to work? What do you care if women go to work and earn equal pay as men? You can’t pump gas? You are weak! I feel horrible for your kids that you would raise them to be the winey bitch you are.

            • DPunch permalink
              August 10, 2009 9:36 pm

              Ahh!!! My balls just ascended! I don’t care how tight your ass is, nothing can make up for that rage. I can practically HEAR you as I read.

              You can feel sorry for Lori’s kids all you want, it’s your prerogative. Just like it’s my prerogative to feel sorry for your husband. Or is that just what you’re call any one of those dildos in your arsenal these days?

              BTW, if Lori’s fat, then consider me a converted chubby chaser. Mmmm…luvs me some folds.

          • snarkandboobs permalink*
            August 10, 2009 7:46 pm

            Oh please do keep spewing your hatred; you are a shining example of Feminism!

        • Jason permalink
          August 10, 2009 7:55 pm

          Yeah but I bet it’s sissy little girl boxing. Besides I’m sure your really hot, for an ugyl fat chick.

        • August 10, 2009 7:58 pm

          I’ve seen Christina. She’s pretty… fat.

          • SarahW permalink
            August 10, 2009 8:03 pm

            “What do you care if women go to work and earn equal pay as men?”

            I speak for myself, but I would like to go to work and earn equal pay while remaining a woman. But if you want to go to work as a man, that’s ok by me.

            • Lori permalink
              August 10, 2009 8:13 pm

              See? Sarah gets it. Left: Kindly get a sense of humor, start comprehending tongue-in-cheek and allow us to be feminine without attempting to diminish us or demonize us. Thanks!

        • August 10, 2009 8:00 pm

          That’s nice talk for a lady. Let’s hear it for (backstabbing) sisterhood. Do you need help ensuring you never breed? I’d be happy to contribute to your tubal ligation.

          • snarkandboobs permalink*
            August 10, 2009 8:36 pm

            “tubal ligation”

            You rock.

            • August 10, 2009 9:25 pm

              I know. That’s a big word for a stupid stay at home mom.

              • snarkandboobs permalink*
                August 10, 2009 9:33 pm

                Yeah! By the way, who is reading this blog out loud for you?

        • August 10, 2009 8:07 pm

          You sound really…appealing.

  7. August 10, 2009 7:47 pm

    Dear Christina, thank you for choosing not to “bless” us with your spawn.

  8. Christina permalink
    August 10, 2009 7:54 pm

    hatred? what i would hate is to not have the choice of going to work. I live a very fulfilled life. Please don’t ruin it. No one is telling you to go to work, but stay out of our business.

    • Lori permalink
      August 10, 2009 7:58 pm


      Oh, I didn’t realize that “stupid bitch”, “you’re fat”, “whiny bitchy” were all terms of endearment and niceties. My bad!

    • Jason permalink
      August 10, 2009 8:01 pm

      I think that’s what bitter, barren wombed, old cat ladies say to make themselves feel better.

    • August 10, 2009 8:13 pm

      I think the point you don’t grasp, Christina, is that SnarkandBoobs post was all about you and your fellow FemiNazi’s staying out of her business. It’s your type that needs to stop boosting your own fragile self-esteem by telling yourselves you’re more enlightened & superior to the average stay at home mom.

      • Christina permalink
        August 10, 2009 8:17 pm

        who is telling stay at home mom’s to go to work and mow the lawn?

        • August 10, 2009 8:34 pm

          FemiNazi’s when they dismiss stay at home mothers as less than relevant and state that they are “parasites.” Did you even bother reading the blog post where the author outlined the meme put forward by feminists over the years? Feminists, and the authorities they still site, openly voice their disdain for stay at home mom’s and argue that they harm others. Were you born this dense or did you eat paint chips as a kid?

  9. August 10, 2009 8:08 pm

    If the left stopped trying to stick people in boxes and started respecting individuals, nobody would be made to feel less than authentic due to the choices they make. I’m thrilled that Christina has decided to pass on having kids. The fewer people who fail to grasp sarcasm, the better. Now make me a sammich, Lori. Or not .. it’s that kind of America 🙂

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 10, 2009 8:10 pm

      Damn Straight (and not in the homophobic way, easy there sense of humor challenged Left), Stickee!

      Ham and cheese or BLT?

      • August 10, 2009 8:15 pm

        I was kidding about the sammich. I’m actually off bread. Though I could go for a banana. Feel free not to use your hands 😀

        • August 10, 2009 8:38 pm

          actually that should be “Feel free to not use your hands.”

          I love the smell of objectification in the afternoon. It smells like … sammiches.

  10. Emily permalink
    August 10, 2009 8:14 pm

    LMAO @ Jason’s “…bitter, barren wombed, old cat ladies…”!!!

    Love the article!! I love being a woman. I left a 6-figure/yr job to (gasp!) stay home and raise my 3 children. I am able to pump my own gas, but I love the fact that my husband does it for me so I don’t have to.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 10, 2009 9:10 pm

      Good for you, Emily! Congratulations on your wonderful family. And I bet you don’t feel like you aren’t “fulfilling your potential” either!

  11. snarkandboobs permalink*
    August 10, 2009 9:15 pm

    Christina just left another comment, but she must have deleted it. Luckily, I had it in my email.

    Here it is:

    Author : Christina (redacted)
    E-mail : Christina_(redacted)


    you’re right, i have a lot of hatred. I hate women like you. All you do is make excuses for your pathetic self. Like GWB, I pity you.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 10, 2009 9:15 pm

      Basically, she says:

      Because Shut Up. ALSO GEORGE BUSH.

  12. snarkandboobs permalink*
    August 10, 2009 9:18 pm

    Wrong, she didn’t delete it. It’s just further up. Here it is ..


  1. Twitted by TommyXtopher
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