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Thank You, Liberals, for Handing Us Your Very Own Weapons

August 6, 2009

That’s right, Rome. You have just handed us, Conservatives and concerned citizens, your very own sword to wield. I realized this last night, as I lay in bed in my rented home, exhausted from a day of manufacturing anger and of avoiding the insidious clutches of the predatory mortgage lenders, from whom I’ve managed to escape for years.

You erred gravely when you told me that I, and others like me, must be rubes and unwitting shills based solely on the fact that we believe in peaceful assembly and the redress of grievances. You only served to sharpen our focus and to strengthen our resolve.

For too long, we have been relying solely on principle and on the knowledge that we are right, that our ideas are sound, that one day people will realize this and magically jump to our side. We too often impale ourselves with your weapons, we allow ourselves to be used by you and mold ourselves to your memes. No longer.

Principle is a good thing, obviously, but as a friend reminded me months ago, and as I have been saying over and over since, History has shown that one must learn to use the Roman sword against Rome itself. Or die.

You, Dear Leader and the DNC, have just handed us that sword. Now, unlike those who died at Masada, we can now stand on principle AND use your own weapons against you instead of principling ourselves right out of existence.  You see, you have furthered a movement .. you have gone too far this time and like another historical precedent from which we can learn, the fall of  Constantinople, you have hoisted yourself on your own petard.  You became complacent. You became so secure in the erroneous belief that you know best, that you are smarter than we “bitter clingers”, you didn’t even notice that we were busily building metaphorical tunnels in our “small towns” at which you sanctimoniously sneer.

By continuing in the misguided notion that you are “better than us”, that we average citizens are rubes, easily duped into anything, the latest being into shills for insurance companies, YOU created the anger. We don’t need it to be manufactured; it’s in us. We are angry and you have only served to make us more so and to give us a central focus of said anger. You’ve united us.

Now, WE will use your Rules For Radicals, only we will fight with facts and logic and common sense. But we will follow your guidelines; we will identify you and isolate you. We will NOT accept any further demonizing of our core beliefs. We will not allow you to take our Country and our liberties.

We will use the very same weapons you have used … we will organize, we will use OUR media, the new and improved media. We’ve already started, you see, but you were too smug to notice. You can keep your New York Times; we will be down on the ground instead. You see, we DO, we don’t simply posture. We will be in our town halls, in our town meetings and all over the internet.

Twitter is a perfect example. It is full of those “regular folks” to whom you give lip service, but whom you don’t understand in the slightest.  Due to your own stupidity and that of YOUR shills like Babs Boxer Ma’am:

and our “esteemed” Speaker, Nancy Pelosi and her claims of swastika-wielding marauders, you ended up involving people who normally would not get involved in anything “political”. Because this is no longer just politics; it’s our way of life.

Hot Air had one of it’s top 5 traffic days Evah yesterday. I, a small town “hick”, personally had more than 3 full gmail pages of new follower notifications from Twitter. People are angry, people want to get involved, the mob is real and it is growing. We must embrace it and use it to our own ends and explain to those who think we are just nameless, faceless nutty nuts, just HOW we are so mob-like.

We started achieving that yesterday, with the #iamthemob hashtag. You see, YOU taught us that, only you couldn’t follow through. You used quick slogans to capture the attention of the shortly-attention spanned electorate, but then what?  You aren’t holding their attention; even the younger generation is losing “hope” in you. Your shiny purty is fading fast. You can’t even pass your own legislation and you have a Super Majority! You had no answers, no workable ideas, save for your attempted Demagoguing of Conservatives.

Thank you! I’m grateful, because we CAN take that demagoguing and use it against you. We too can come up with slogans *, as we showed yesterday, and we can capture the attention of all those who don’t appreciate being demonized for attempting to involve themselves as citizens.  (This is obviously not the only way to go,but it is an excellent adjunct tool to other outlets and means of communicating ideals and ideas.) We are able to reach people of varying ideologies quickly with a point; this works far better for Conservatives and Libertarians than it does for Liberals, as they can’t make quick, cogent points. As y’all have shown, you tend to ramble on and on circuitously. You are full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

And once we have their attention, we can keep it because we will inform, not mock. We will educate, not ridicule. We will work together, not rest on self-righteous sanctimony.

If we are smart, this will be OUR Moment.  WE are the ones we’ve been waiting for. That’s right, President Obama, I’m stealing your words and turning them right back around at you. We mobsters are good like that.

* Potential Slogans; Use As You Wish. Prefaced always by I Am The Mob. (Some serious, some irreverent, which I do believe Conservatives Need. We must stop allowing ourselves to be painted as old stick-in-the-mud, fuddy-duddies):

Hey y’all,can’t decide which gift to order with my Shill For Insurance Company Reward Points; Manolos or opera glasses?

I’m a Mama who doesn’t wear Mom jeans, a daughter, a sister, a friend who believes in Liberty.

I pay for my doctor’s visits out of pocket. I also rent rather than obtain mortgages I can’t afford.

I shower, shave, wear cute skirts and strappy sandals and choose to look like a woman.

I believe in peaceful assembly and the redress of grievances.

I think Rations are a type of military meal and not a way to “cost-effectively” cull the herd.

I don’t want a man who says “oh, just take a pill” to be in charge of my Epidural decisions.

I will not hide behind veil of phony victimhood .

I’m tired of being called a gender-traitor for embracing femininity and Motherhood.

I believe if you have an entitlement mentality, it should only entitle you to STFU

Babs Boxer, Ma’am : Manufactured We’re Not, And We’re Hot. Get Used to It.

Dear Babs Boxer, Ma’am : We’ll be seen and We’re Clean! Get Used To It.

Dear Babs Boxer, Ma’am: We behave and we shave. Get Used To It.

Dear Babs Boxer, Ma’am: We won’t be conned, Nice clothes we’ve donned. Get Used to It.

Because I am a shill …. for my own family.

Because I’m smarter than “Better Than You” Politicians think.

I believe charity begins at home, not in a “committee” of bureaucrats.

I don’t get Cash for my Clunker. I drive it to SAVE cash.

Because deciding whose life is cost-effectively “worth” saving is NOT above my pay grade.

I don’t trust the Government with a speculum

Because I “Cling” to Life

Because I chose to be “punished” with a baby

Because Shut Up. And George Bush.

Because I don’t want elderly with diseases requiring life-saving surgery to line up to the left for their “pills”

I’m Loud and I’m well-endowed. Get Used to it.

Because I’ve read, and understand, the Constitution of the United States of America.

Because I don’t screech get out of my Uterus, yet welcome you to every other part of my body and aspect of my life

Because I actually live within my means and expect others, including the Government, to do the same.

Because I live in the real world and not an Ivory Tower.

Because Washington was right: If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter

Because I know “DoubleThink”, “NewSpeak” and “The Ministry of Truth” when I see it.

I prefer to be barefoot and practicing getting pregnant in the kitchen. Making sammiches.

Let me be clear here, as I’ve said before and as I stand here today: I am the mob

Janeane Garofalo thinks I have a fatty limbic system and Stockholm Syndrome. At least I don’t crack a mirror.

Because I walk softly and carry a big Lipstick

I believe America is the Shining City on the Hill; resent Obama’s constant need to apologize for our Exceptionalism

Because real men like Red Meat and not arugula

Because I can think for myself

(cross-posted at Red State here)


24 Comments leave one →
  1. August 6, 2009 9:50 pm

    You were already a total MILF, but now you’ve graduated to an entirely new level of MILFocity. Truly brilliant, ZDiddy, veryy well done.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 7, 2009 6:10 am

      Usually I don’t care for the MILF deal, but MILFocity is awesome. Thanks!

  2. August 6, 2009 10:15 pm

    as I lay in bed in my rented home, exhausted from a day of manufacturing anger and of avoiding the insidious clutches of the predatory mortgage lenders, from whom I’ve managed to escape for years.

    So you’re losing sleep over this sh** too? This ain’t my first rodeo (#iamthemob), but only recently have I tossed and turned over this stuff. I swear I’m about to find my bra, leave my house and do something… something mobby and angry.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 7, 2009 6:11 am

      Yup. Same here. Wish I could be all butchy and go hit a punching bag or something.

  3. 1776minuteman permalink
    August 6, 2009 11:02 pm

    Very well done!

  4. August 7, 2009 3:09 am

    Awesome post, I hereby dub thee #mobqueen

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 7, 2009 6:12 am

      Mob Queen! Love it. Thanks!

  5. August 7, 2009 6:03 am

    Methinks your history suffers in kind with your politics.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 7, 2009 6:12 am

      So glad you clarified and backed it up with, you know, facts and reason. Thanks!

      • August 7, 2009 8:49 pm

        Glad to help! My point is that I’m not sure who’s who in your little Rome allegory. Am I Caesar, and if so, which one? Are you the Senate, and if so, why would you choose to identify with a bunch of classists whose only motivation was to preserve their oligarchy?

      • snarkandboobs permalink*
        August 7, 2009 8:58 pm

        No, I referenced Masada. You must not have read that far… it was the first sentence in the 5th paragraph and was a running theme throughout.. the need to fight against Rome. Why on Earth would you think I’d be in their Senate? (I also appreciate the attempt to diminish me with the “little analogy” line. Cute!)

        Masada, you know, where they stood on principle alone and died rather than submit to Rome. Hence, learn to use Rome’s weapons against them so that you can fight and defeat them with their own metaphorical swords AND with principle; saving yourself from being principled right out of existence.

        • August 8, 2009 2:58 pm

          Typical libtard. Thinking of what they are going to say next instead of listening (reading) the other person.

          • Lori permalink
            August 8, 2009 3:58 pm

            They only think about how to fit in the next set of talking points.

    • Wsorrian permalink
      August 7, 2009 7:40 am

      I read your story douche, and I have to say “methinks your history suffers in kind with your politics”. There is a huge problem when democrats refuse to let republican ideas be sent to committee, or even discussed, then you claim they have no ideas. It’s fascism pure and simple. When peoples views are being dismissed as rhetoric from “the party of no”, “racist white rednecks”, “people who can’t accept that their party lost”, etc. etc. When the opposition is constantly insulted, ridiculed, and labeled as racist EVERYTIME they speak out, then what recourse do we have? We’ve already gone through the usual channels. So we’re making ourselves heard. It’s too bad you have to whine about it after cheering on code pink and other idiots for the same exact thing during the “8 years of Bush”. I know you don’t like having your own tactics used against you, but too bad hypocrite.

      Reading further through your story it becomes obvious you’re a sheep. Your party moves left, you move left. Your party moves north, you move north. You claim it’s to hinder “reasonable debate”. Really?!? How about the democrats telling republicans to get on board or we go through without you? Does that sound anything like “reasonable debate”? How about the fact the republicans have been censored from even showing a graph that accurately depicts the socialist health plan bureaucracy? How about the fact democrats have censored republicans from using the term “government-run healthcare” to describe government-run healthcare. Until the fascist neo-liberal democrats accepts the fact that real Americans do not want this plan, then don’t speak of “reasonable debate.”

      How about delving into the lies about this plan? How about the fact this will kill the private industry and lead to people paying 60% of their income to a bloated bureaucracy that will keep growing and STILL end up under-funded? How about the rationing? How about the fact the democrats lied about “seniors supporting this plan” when, in fact, it was just the AARP who is now getting an earful about it from their now former members? I can go on and on about why these people have EVERY right to be loud and disruptive, but it won’t change a single liberals mind. As Evan Sayet has alluded to, when you have been indocrinated into the indiscriminate liberal mindset, you lose the ability to discern, to judge. You lose the ability to tell right from wrong, fact from opinion, good from evil, and inevitably you will end up with the wrong conclusion. I used to think maybe he was blowing things out of proportion, but “He was right, the man was right.”

      • August 7, 2009 8:47 pm

        I’ll start with this: it’s great to be lectured on reasonable debate by someone that leads by calling me a douche, and ends by calling me a fascist neo-liberal. That last part doesn’t even make sense. Stay class, GOP!

        Now. “Censorship” is defined as the legal prevention of someone from speaking their piece, by the government, without providing an alternate means of communication. Criticism is emphatically not censorship. So it’s tough to see how the GOP is “censored” from showing their dinky little graph thing.

        As to Code Pink, I’ve consistently called those people morons. I’m happy to dispense with petty distractions; the GOP, on the other hand, seems to thrive on it.

        As to “fine, we’ll do it without you,” note that this was said in reference to one piece of legislation, after the GOP was given ample time to try to make a substantive point, but resorted to whining about “socialism” instead. When your party gets ready to govern again, rather than throwing “tea parties” or what not, be sure to get back to me. Until that point, though, it’s rather like deciding to hold a meeting despite its constant interruptions by an angry toddler. No indictment of the toddler, just someone’s got to keep working. Lawyered.

    • Wsorrian permalink
      August 7, 2009 11:49 pm

      Glad to see you can’t understand plain english.

      You deserved to be called douche because your original post was clearly designed to insult. So much for reasonable debate. YOU quashed that right from the start. Good job proving my point. Remember Jeneanne Garafalo?

      I already cited other instances of censorship, including the fact republicans aren’t being allowed time to offer a different plan. You must have missed that. I could go on but since you refused to acknowledge all I said and focused, instead, on specific point it wouldn’t do any good. True to form the left jumps from one talking point to the next as soon as they are refuted. Again, good job.

      What was it you said? Oh yeah…”Methinks your history suffers in kind with your politics.”
      I think you’ve got it backwards on who actually “thrives” on the protesting. Historically, the left has been quick to pick up a sign, chant, and wander around in city parks. That’s a fact. So exactly what was supposed to lead me to believe that the “GOP” is the one who feeds off this. The GOP has nothing to do with this. These are AMERICANS heading to the town halls. Yet you ridicule them and likely cheer on the fact that you beloved socialist DNC has sent in the union goons to beat up black people just trying to make a buck. Remember that come election time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtDRx3h8JJA

      How’s it feel to back the gestapo?

      I picked the ones with the joker on them just for you. Douchebag.

      This last paragraph is a clear denial of the socialist agenda being implemented today. And, true to form once again, the liberals jump on the insult bandwagon instead of refuting what your pundits have already admitted. So forgive me if i give a little back. Remember your hero, John Stewart, who once said socialism would never happen in America, then a few months later he was showing scantly clad Swedish(?) women (as though that had anything to do with healthcare), as he spouted that socialism isn’t so bad? Since you pundits and endorsers have already admitted this is socialism, why can’t you?

      I can see this is nothing more than an attempt to stir the pot, to get people to read your pathetic liberal doublespeak.

  6. Angela permalink
    August 9, 2009 8:39 pm

    I only we can toss aside our convictions and use them. This is a battle for the tattered remnants of the soul of this country.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 10, 2009 3:12 am

      It is, Angela. I don’t mean it in a conspiracy-esque, crazy pants way, but we are at a cross-roads. I hope we choose the right path.

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