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The Great Texting Summit ’09: I hereby request I be appointed STFU Czar

August 4, 2009
sillywalks2(thanks to Caleb Howe for the graphic)

While the Texting Whilst Driving Summit is pretty low on the totem pole of issues and problems, apparently Obama doesn’t think so. And I think it also serves to finally put a nail in the “Obama is SOOOO smart” coffin.  Please, can we finally put that to rest? I’ll say it first; as an evil Radical RightWing Extremist, I’m already on the DHS “watch list”, I’m sure.  He is NOT smart. He is naive and childlike in his approach to nearly everything.

This inane action is just the latest example. Fox reported this morning that Obama is to hold a TEXTING while driving Summit. All other problems have been solved, we can now focus on nefarious Twitter! Really, Obama? Seriously? A Summit. An actual SUMMIT about TEXTING.  My head is fixin’ to explode … oh, man, just Ration me now. Blue or red pill, either one will do.

In the alternative, I demand a Czar position, as I’m an expert on Texting and it’s super cool counterpart, Twittering. Since this, evidently, is such an urgent matter, I’m certain Czars will be appointed. I suggest a wOOt Czar, an OMG Czar and a LOLZ Czar for starters.  As aforementioned, I’m an expert, thus I’d like to be considered for either Hawt Czar, TTYL Czar or the top and most appropriate spot for the big Texting Summit ’09: The STFU Czar. Actually, the STFU Czar should be a permanent position in Obama’s administration, as should the WTF Czar.

I have some additional ideas for you too, Dear Leader. I think we also need a Summit on fiddling with radio/mp3 player whilst driving. Kindly arrange for that. I’d also recommend a Low Rise Jeans Cause Muffin Tops Summit, as I personally find THAT highly distracting. Also distracting and totally offensive? That whole grown women and men wearing Crocs deal. Summit, please!

I’m sure I’ll have further Summit suggestions for you. In the meantime, kindly advise to whom I should Text (natch) my resume. Thanks much!

18 Comments leave one →
  1. August 4, 2009 6:03 pm

    He’s solving unemployment one czar at a time. (though you have to wonder, when he’s going to wise up and start calling them Tsar’s – the “TS” spelling is much niftier, I think.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 4, 2009 6:24 pm

      Yeah, but CZar is more “useful idiot-y”, I think. Plus, I like to totally accentuate the Z to sound all foreign and stuff.

  2. Donkey Punch permalink
    August 4, 2009 6:07 pm

    The irony of this blog is that you texted it while driving your old clunker, huh?

    Also, can I be the WGAS/WGAF Czar? The mission statement implied in my title would solve so many of the world’s problems.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 4, 2009 6:25 pm

      I will appoint you as such, if I get the top STFU spot. You’re welcome!

  3. Chris Knuckles permalink
    August 4, 2009 6:09 pm


  4. ManBearPig permalink
    August 4, 2009 6:20 pm

    I would politely request that a Woody Allen Movie Summit be held, because there are things that really do just need to be stopped for the betterment for all of mankind…

    ‘Seems appropriate that the STFU Czar should preside…

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 4, 2009 6:26 pm

      Excellent suggestion! Will be top potential next Summit ’09 on my list!

  5. Wsorrian permalink
    August 4, 2009 8:37 pm

    Mrs.Boobs, again you brighten my day. I will be smiling all day thanks to this. Curmudgeons, such as myself, need all the uplifting blogs/articles we can get. We’re a sad bunch, but thanks to you, not quite so pathetic. THX and TTYL. =)

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 4, 2009 10:10 pm

      Aww, thank you! I am a firm believer in laughing so we don’t cry… or “Ration” ourselves!

      TTFN ! (heh)

  6. jd nyc permalink
    August 4, 2009 10:12 pm

    ZOMG! n00b! ROFLCOPTER!!!11!!1

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 4, 2009 10:14 pm

      I may need to hire you… I STILL don’t know what ROFLCOPTER is supposed to even mean.

      I’m such a n00b. You totally pwnd me!

      • jd nyc permalink
        August 4, 2009 10:15 pm


      • snarkandboobs permalink*
        August 4, 2009 10:16 pm

        Obvy! That’s so “ridic”

  7. August 5, 2009 5:18 am

    Sounds good. I shall be the Bar Tsar (I dig the TS too), since drinking and driving is no biggie now. Obviously the house special will be White Russians. Their names are Boris and Svetlana and they shall also provide the entertainment.

    Ray LaHood is breaking my common sense midwestern heart.

  8. Dan permalink
    August 7, 2009 7:24 pm

    I think I’m in love! Razor sharp wit AND a pic of John Cleese and his silly walk? Too much! Love your tweets too. Peace.

    • snarkandboobs permalink*
      August 7, 2009 7:59 pm

      Thank you, Dan! And while I adore Cleese and his silly walk, I can’t take credit for the picture. Caleb Howe thought of adding that graphic (link to his Twitter page is under the picture)

  9. September 2, 2009 7:38 am

    Excellent site, keep up the good work


  1. The Great Texting Summit ‘09 - snarkandboobs’s Diary - RedState

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