The Importance of (Not) Being….A Soccer Mom
I’ve found myself a bit behind in getting over the post election fatigue…isn’t that always the case, though? We women tend to take a bit longer than men because we have, oh, I don’t know …feelings and emotions and tend to think things through more exhaustively. We are overly thorough sometimes and thus tend to take a bit longer or we take a more circuitous route to get to an end result. Which isn’t a bad thing, except in certain “areas” . (Holla to my Ladies…am I right?)….I guess this explains our fondness for appliances.
So, to aid myself (as usual, sigh) I decided to peruse some old linkie thingies that I had saved in my gmail drafts and in bookmarks (yes, I am that pathetic) in the hopes that it would remind me of what so angered me prior to the election, thus spurring my ire. I’m at my best when frothing at the mouth and shaking my fist in the air as if Harry Reid or Barney Frank can actually see and hear me……don’t Judge me!
Anyhoops, I came across something that had annoyed me dreadfully. That smug little dial-an-opinion Frank Lunz had been claiming that the United Nations was going to be a HUGE election issue and that the Republicans could rally their base and win on said issue. At the time, I thought he was an idiot. Looks like I’m psychic!
What really annoyed me was the idiocy of the premise itself. Don’t get me wrong…Personally, I dislike the UN. A lot. OK, my loathing for the institution is actually palpable. However, how could it possibly be a KEY issue? Maybe I’m nuttier than first thought (shaddup!), but I highly doubt that the general population of “soccer Moms” ever gives much more than the most cursory thought to the UN. Worse, the fleeting thought is likely wrapped up with things like “global community” and “dialogues”.
I DESPISE the term soccer Mom, by the way. Mostly because it makes me feel left out and odd as I don’t understand them in the slightest..although, I’m actually thankful for that. Plus, my daughter doesn’t play soccer, which is admittedly for selfish reasons; I hate the sport. Actually, I pretty much hate all sports….I don’t like to get all sweaty and out of breath. While clothed, at least. So, I’m petitioning for the term Gymnastics Moms (Yes, that is allegedly a “sport” too, but my kid is allowed to do that one….The outfits are super cute. She will have to stop, though, once she gets to the point where those disturbingly developed man thighs could become an issue)
Wait…I know….Mark Steyn Moms! Steyn Moms, for short. He’s brilliant and super hot…thus, I’d wager that MY kind of Moms would enjoy that which is Steyn. As a bonus, in their pursuit to live up to the Steyn moniker, it may encourage the growing out of the hideous Mom haircuts and the dropping of their high-waist, highly unflattering, Mom jeans. In fact, that could be an entry requirement.
Hmm, if our numbers grow large enough, we could then demand the appointment of Sir Mark Steyn (I’ve knighted him in my mind) as our ambassador to the UN. OK, so he isn’t legally a US citizen, but that doesn’t seem to matter much any longer anyway. At the least, he’d swiftly cure the UN of their current state of impotence. And he would certainly bring any and all interludes to their proper conclusion without anyone having to finish the job themselves.
OK, so I just proved myself wrong. Lunz was right; the UN really is a key issue!