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A new career? Take that, Betty Friedan!

July 23, 2007

I can’t help but think this new career enterprise is the brain child of one Mr. Kevin Godlington. Pure genius? Or setting back my anti-feminist movement for years?

The women of Tiger Time Lawn Care offer to mow customers’ lawns dressed in bikinis – a service that attracts more attention to the ladies than the lawns.

“Oh yeah, they honk and yell. They can do everything you can imagine,” said employee Blair Beckman, 21. Beckman said the extra attention is expected, but she looks on the bright side.

“You get the attention but you also get a tan, which I need,” Beckman said.

Owner Lee Cathey said the bikini service makes mowing the lawn a lot more interesting, although the fee is slightly higher.

“The yards definitely get more attention when there’s a bikini on the lawn,” Cathey said. Some customers sit in lawn chairs and have a beer while watching, he said.

The three-month-old company is looking for a way to expand the service through the end of summer. “In the fall we’ll go pick up leaves in the bikinis if need be,” Cathey said.

Cathey said there hasn’t been any interest in a male version of the bikini lawn cut.

I’m conflicted. On the one hand, no no no! And No again. That’s Men’s work! What self respecting woman would mow a lawn? Gross! Sweaty (and not in a good way) and dirty and machine-y! I refuse, absolutely REFUSE, to even learn how to turn one on. I have my principles and all; I am a staunch Anti-Feminist. Seriously, mowing the lawn is almost as bad as changing your own car tire. Which is utterly unheard of in my mind. Far easier, and more womanly to use your wiles. Work up a good fake cry, pout prettily and watch while a man does the job. Who needs ya, Gloria Steinem? Not I and that is for damn certain. Women need Feminists like fish need bicycles, I say.

On the other hand, the tan part IS a huge bonus. As is the attention part (I add, pathetically). Not to mention the absolute and total objectification of women, which should serve to provide GREAT strides for the anti-feminism movement (which I plan to spear head. Once my daughter is in school and I can, thus, devote my full time to the Cause).

I must mull on this one a bit. But I am swiftly leaning towards evil genius.

However, I do find it quite sad that there is no interest in a bikini-clad male service. Well, I admit that I partially understand it because NO man looks good in a Speedo. I repeat, for all you men out there suffering from delusions…..NO man. However, I would hire, say, Andrew Levy, to mow my lawn shirtless and in swim trunks. Yum! (I say whilst simpering and blushing so as to appear lady-like and proper. And feminine. As opposed to the wretched and dreaded Feminist)

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Big Papa James permalink
    August 12, 2007 5:09 am

    We Live here in Southwest Florida and I have seen this article about five times pop up on the web and if it is getting that great of a response… something has to be right. As far as the feminist movement… they are not going to know where or how to stand on this one… women getting the equal chance to work in the lawn care business, make money and be in control of completing some personal goals like a good tan and stay fit. As far as the bikini part… if men can cut the grass with no shirt on… what is wrong with the girls wearing a bikini?

    Yes I am a guy… but my wife & daughter thought this was great as well… when you decide to franchise this service… give us a call!

  2. brian smith permalink
    April 5, 2008 9:46 am

    the idea originated in kansas city – not florida –
    the original bikini lawn is my business 2004. he just hijacked the idea from our kansas city business. and thats my wife in this picture and has nothing to do with that jackasses florida business.

  3. January 9, 2013 3:02 pm

    It seems like you actually know quite a lot related to this specific subject matter and this
    shows thru this article, called “A new career? Take that, Betty Friedan!
    Snark And Boobs”. Thank you -Denisha

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